


it'll all make sense again

by percyyoulittleshit



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 15:42:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13790868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/percyyoulittleshit/pseuds/percyyoulittleshit
Summary: The Giant War happened over a year ago and Annabeth Chase thought she was finally getting better and ready to move on to the next step of her life: Berkeley College but mental illness are not easy to treat on your own and without the proper help you can burn, Annabeth discovered that in very unpleasant ways and with Percy living across the country from her, Annabeth needs to realize that only person who can help her get better is herself.





	it'll all make sense again

**Author's Note:**

> I have been a bit vocal about how I think Annabeth and Percy going to college without taking a gap year to work on their mental health is a terrible idea, so taking into consideration the hints that something is going to happen to the Romans in the next Trials of Apollo book, I decided to write what I think should happen with Annabeth and Percy and their PTSD since Rick Riordan refuses to touch those topics. Thank for Lauren to beta this fic!

Annabeth took a deep breath and the fresh air of Crissy Field filled her lungs; the fog had rolled in and she could barely see The Golden Gate. Last night had been a bad night and she had spent most of it in hysterical crying and yelling with her dad trying to comfort her, the only way they had managed to calm her down was when her stepmother managed to get Percy on the phone and put him on speaker. They had been watching a tv show when the power went out and everything had gone dark and Annabeth was back in Tartarus and blind. It took a while but finally, Percy’s voice guided her to sleep, and by the time she woke up the next morning her dad was sleeping on the floor next to her bed. She knew they were going to have the conversation, the conversation that was due a few weeks ago when she dropped out of college after she passed out for the fifth time from exhaustion. **  
**

And that’s how she found herself in Crissy Field talking with her dad about the Giant War. She didn’t go into specifics about Tartarus, just told him enough to give him an idea, she knew he already knew something from phone calls with Sally Jackson. She also told him about how the world was facing a new possible apocalypse, but at least the fate of the world wasn’t on her and Percy’s shoulders anymore (she wasn’t happy the future of the world had been placed in the hands of a little girl, an ex-god, and Grover but she was a retired hero now and there was no energy left in her body to save the world  _again_ ) It was one of the most difficult talks she had had in her life and it took her a lot of energy to do it. By the time she had finished and finally faced her dad he just looked...devastated, like if in the hours it took her to tell him everything he had aged at least 20 more years.

“Have….have you talked to someone about all of this?” Frederick finally asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Besides Percy? A little bit with Piper and Magnus.”

“And with a professional? This, this is too much Annabeth.” He sounded weak. “You have been carrying all of this by yourself for over a year now, it’s not- it’s not healthy.”

“Don’t you think I know it’s not healthy? I had to drop out of college because my body couldn’t handle it anymore.” Her tone was bitter, she was trying to hold back the irritation she was feeling against her father at that moment. “I know it’s not healthy...it’s just hard.”

“I know.”

“No you  _don’t_ , you don’t know how much it hurts.” Her eyes started to burn and she closed them, feeling tears starting to form, her vision was blurry when she opened her eyes again. “I’m afraid of the dark, sometimes I can’t stare at bonfires because if I look at them for enough time my brain starts going back to that place, my arachnophobia got worse, I didn’t even think that could be possible, sometimes my hair brushes my arm and it feels like spider webs and I forget how to breath.” She hugged herself and let her tears fall freely. “I’m tired, I’m scared and I want Percy but he is miles away and it hurts not being close to him but at the same time I hate I can’t get a good night of sleep if he is not beside me.”

Annabeth started to sob and her dad put his arms around her shoulders, finally giving her the comfort she had desperately wanted eleven years ago. “You are right Annabeth, I have no idea what you are going through but believe me when I say I would take away your problems and carry them instead if I could, I’m so sorry baby girl, I’m so sorry I was never there for you.” He gently guided her towards his chest, letting her cry, she could hear the pain and guilt in her father's voice. “But please, Annabeth, talk with a professional, this is too much, I know I can’t do much to help you and it’s killing me seeing you like this, please at least consider it.”

Annabeth didn’t have the energy to talk, sobs still shaking her body but she managed to nod and she let her father comfort her, feeling like a seven-year-old again but this time finally getting what she needed the most, a father protecting his daughter.

  

 

* * *

 

“Mom thinks I should have a service dog,” Percy said that night, they were talking via Iris Message and he looked terrible, his dark circles were impossible not to notice, his hair was messier than usual and it looked greasy and dirty and his face looked thinner than the last time they had spoken last week. “Or an emotional support dog.” Annabeth raised her eyebrows. For Sally to suggest that would mean that things were not better on Percy’s end. She had been naive, she had thought that they were finally getting better but after all the fiasco in New Rome during summer and with Percy now living across the country from her and her barely holding it together without him by her side, things weren’t better, not at all. From across the mist, Percy sighed and avoided her eyes. “I might have been, um, kind of getting panic attacks out of nowhere, I don’t know what triggers them they just happen and it’s not... _good._ ”

Annabeth bit her lip, unsure what to say to him, while Percy was absolutely supportive of her during her episodes he rarely talked about his and now that he was finally opening about them, it sucked they were in different ends of the country. “How long?”

Percy flinched. “A few weeks?”

“ _Percy!_ ”

“I know, I know,” he raised his hands in surrender. “But you were dealing with college and then you dropped out, and I just, you had enough on your plate without me adding more stuff for you to worry about.”

“So you can take my problems and yours but I can’t help you with yours?” Annabeth told him, her tone dangerously low, the biggest issue she had with Percy was him closing off about his feelings. Not about his feelings about her, after they started dating he had been very vocal about them, but Percy wasn’t that vocal about his problems not with her, not with his mom and not with Grover meaning he usually had to deal with his them on his own and in silence and dealing with PTSD without someone there to help you carry the weight was...like carrying the sky all over again. Nico had Reyna and Hazel, she had Percy and while she also wanted to help Percy there was only so much she could do if he kept his problems to himself.  

Percy took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Is not like that and you know it.”

“I wish you would talk to me more.” Annabeth sighed.

“I know, I’m sorry I- I’m working on that I swear.” he sounded tired and he looked older and Annabeth’s heart twisted in pain, wishing she could be there for him. After the whole Nero trying to destroy New Rome and unsuccessfully burning the city but successfully burning down the University Percy had found himself without a college to go to. He stayed in New Rome for a little bit helping the city get back on their feet and hanging out with Annabeth for the rest of the summer but once she started college Percy had gone back to the East Coast.

They had decided it was good for their relationship to spend some time apart, they had been pretty much attached by the hip after the Giant War (or as much as they could be with him living with his parents and her living in a school dorm) and while the word ‘ _breaking up_ ’ never crossed their minds they knew they still had Tartarus haunting them and they needed to learn how to deal with it on their own. Annabeth stayed in San Francisco trying to rebuild her relationship with her family and Percy went to New York to help his parents raise his baby sister. They both texted the other every day, and more often than not called the other good night but they had agreed on just talking via IM once every week. What was the point of being apart if they would pretty much spend all their time with the other? After Annabeth dropped out of college she wanted to go back to him, to Camp Half-Blood, but for the first time in her life her dad put his foot down, saying he wouldn’t allow her to be on her own when her mental health was in such a state. Annabeth didn’t take it well, she yelled and insulted him trying her best to hurt him as badly as she was hurting but as much as she insulted him, Frederick refused to let her win. “ _So now you decide to act like a father!?_ ” she had yelled at him and she had hurt him, she could see it on his face but instead he looked at her with a determination she had never seen before “ _I have already lost my sister, brother, and nephew because of some gods, excuse me for trying to do everything I can to save my daughter from the same fate_.” that had finally shut her up, within the next few days she and Frederick negotiated, she would stay in San Francisco and if she started to get better he would rent a small apartment in Brooklyn for her to stay until she started college again.

“I think getting a dog is a good idea.” Annabeth finally said to Percy. “I think it could really help you.”

“Annabeth, I- I really want to open to you.”

“I know, I know you do and I know you are trying and I appreciate it.” Like him, she didn’t open to people easily but there was something about him that made her feel safe. She knew that no matter what he would be by her side, she had known that since she was twelve years old and finally talked about her family issues with him, she had barely mentioned it to her siblings back in camp and yet she had found herself pouring her heart to a boy she barely knew. “When you are ready I’ll be here for you, always.”

“I love you, I love you so much.”

Annabeth smiled at him. “I love you too, Seaweed Brain.”

“I really wish I could hug you,” he said sadly.

“Soon,” Annabeth took a deep breath. “Dad wants me to see a therapist and I agreed.” It was Percy’s turn to raise his eyebrows, he didn’t say anything, waiting for her to continue. “I think it’s a good idea and I’m gonna talk with Reyna and Frank about a therapist in New Rome but I should probably talk with Chiron too if he knows someone in New York and,” Annabeth took another breath, “I think you should talk to Chiron too.” Percy was quiet, he was avoiding her eyes and she could hear his breathing. “We- we can’t keep living like this Percy, not being able to sleep, not being able to know if it’s going to be a good day or a bad day. I don’t want to lose it every time it’s dark and I- I don’t want you to keep having panic attacks. I know we are never going to be able to have a normal life, but how we are living now is not- is not a good life. I want to go to college, I want to be with you, I want to sleep next to you without wondering if my nightmares are gonna wake you or if yours are gonna wake me.” Annabeth’s voice started to break and she could feel tears running across her cheeks. “I want us to get a chance at happiness, but for that, we need to get better and to get better we need therapy, Percy, we do.” She was crying now. “I don’t want to let my demons win and I don’t want you to lose to yours but there only so much I can do for you.”

“I-I’ll talk to Chiron.” Percy said, his eyes were misty, “I know I need to get better, please don’t cry, babe, fuck, I want to be there with you, I will talk with Chiron but please don’t cry, Annabeth.”

“No,” Annabeth croaked. “You need to do this for you, not for me, you need to want to get better for you.”

She could see tears running down his face, she could count on one hand the number of times she had seen Percy cry. “I do, I do want to get better for me, but also for you and for my mom and Paul and Estelle, I want happiness, I don’t want to keep having panic attacks out of nowhere, I want us to be happy, Annabeth, I- I want to be happy, fuck it, I deserve to be happy.” He bit his lip. “I will get help.”

Annabeth nodded, feeling suddenly tired. “And you should really look into getting the service dog.”

“My mom printed some information for me to read, a friend of her publicist trains dogs and we have an appointed with her next week to see what happens,” His voice was hoarse. “It’s probably going to be a small dog, the apartment is already small without having a massive dog running around if I do get a service dog.” Percy took a deep breath. “We are going to get better, Annabeth, we are going to get our happy ending.”

“You are my happy ending,” Annabeth said, her eyelids feeling heavy, the emotional toll of the night before and her conversations with her dad and Percy finally kicking in. “I’m tired.”

Percy smiled at her, a few tears still shining on his face. “You should sleep, babe.”

Annabeth closed her eyes and smiled, Percy didn’t call her babe often, but she loved when he did. “While you stay until I fall asleep?”

“I’ll stay with you forever.”  

**Author's Note:**

> I've got a secret for the mad  
> In a little bit of time, it won't hurt so bad  
> And I get that I don't get it  
> But you will burn right now but then you won't regret it
> 
> You're not gonna believe a word I say  
> What's the point in just drowning another day  
> And I get that I don't get it  
> But the world will show you that you won't regret it  
> And there will be a day  
> When you can say you're okay and mean it
> 
> There's nothing to do right now but try  
> There are a hundred people who will listen to you cry  
> And I get that they don't get it  
> But they love you so much that you won't regret it
> 
> I promise you it'll all make sense again
> 
> \- Secrets For The Mad / Dodie Clark


End file.
